


BLOOD BAGS AND BODY BAGS

by Staymay5



Category: The Originals (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:32:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Staymay5/pseuds/Staymay5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blood bags and body bags: that’s how Kol measured his new life.  If at the end of the day he had more empty blood bags than he had filled body bags he was good enough for Davina. If he had more body bags than blood bags, he wasn’t.</p><p>Kol struggles with living again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	BLOOD BAGS AND BODY BAGS

**Author's Note:**

> 3x15 what a crazy ride, right? I don't think there was a single moment I didn't like. Anyways here's a short about Kols return to the living, spoilers if you haven't seen the end of the episode.

BLOOD BAGS AND BODY BAGS

 

Blood bags and body bags: that’s how Kol measured his new life.  If at the end of the day he had more empty blood bags than he had filled body bags he was good enough for Davina. If he had more body bags than blood bags, he wasn’t.

 

At the end of the day, if he’d been good enough he’d come home to her, to the girl that loved him. She’d kiss him softly and talk of how much she missed him. Davina Claire: the one light in the dark expanse of his existence. He’d once talked of a man under the stars with all the time in the world and here he was, under the star of his existence looking into the abyss of forever.

 

He couldn’t recall the exact moment when he let himself fall over the edge. Then again he still wasn’t quite sure if it even happened all at once or if she’d simply grown on him like rose covered vines along an iron fence. It didn’t really matter though, at least not in those moments where she looked at him as if he was goodness and light itself.

 

On those nights he’d make her laugh and take her dancing, kiss her hard and hold her close, watch her sleep and stroke her hair, hoping beyond hope that by some means her goodness would last past morning into the next day.

 

Only sometimes it didn’t.

 

Somedays there’s more body bags. On these days he thinks about cheating: forcing one cool blood bag down his throat after another. It never worked, well almost never. Humiliation still rakes over him when he recalls Elijah walking in on the mess he made: blood all over his hands and shirt, his body force the liquid back up unable to contain itself in his already full stomach.

 

And yet Elijah had passed no judgment on him. He had cleaned Kol up till not a spec of blood remained and told Kol that they all had their sin. He warned him though, lest he hurt Davina. The idea sickened Kol to his very core, but it shook him none the less.

 

He’d never hurt her, not like that, but if she knew perhaps that would hurt her still. The idea made him restless and frightened a part of him he didn’t know he had. Safe to say he stayed at the Michaelson’s that night, and as for his little indiscretion remained between him and his brother.

 

This is how Kol Michaelson lives his life: counting. At first he just counts bags, the anticipation as the day draws to a close makes him feel like dying all over again. But after a while he begins counting days: the ones in which he’s good enough and the ones where he isn’t. From there it only worsens, he tries to count the days Davina has, the heartbeats her tiny body contains, the math never pleases him.

 

Eventually she notices. Of course she does, Davina Claire is nothing if not bright. Kol come to her less and less and every time he comes he holds her like it’s the last time, “are you dying?”

 

“No darling,” he chuckles pulling on his boots one morning, “I’ve never felt more alive.”

 

“I swear if you’re lying to me,” she says in a way that makes it quite clear she’s cross, “I’ll drag your ass back from the great beyond again and put a leash on it.”

 

He kisses her on the forehead and pulls her closer, “and what about you Miss Claire?”

 

“What about me,” she raises her eyebrow, but he can see her already giving way to his flirting.

 

“How am I supposed to drag you back without any witch powers,” he said it lightly, so much so that he could have fooled himself even. It was anything but a light matter.

 

“You won’t have to,” she laughed hopping up and he knew he was getting off scot-free for now; it was a topic Davina was all too happy to avoid, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Josh caught him once and the look of disappointment was terrible. He had to chase the vampire down, beg him not to tell. Explain to him that this wasn’t him… or at least it wasn’t who he wanted to be. Part of him thought it almost was worse since he had come back, like his body was trying to make up lost time. But the other part of him felt like he was just making excuses.

 

But every person how kept his secret seemed to help him dig himself a hole to bury himself in. It had been two weeks since he’d seen Davina; he’d started ignoring her calls at some point realizing there was no way to explain himself, not this time. He wound up in some trashy run down building full of drained whores by the time Marcel found him. He didn’t put up a fight.

 

For a moment he thought Marcel was really going to kill him, “too bad there’s no white oak around, eh?”

 

“D would never forgive me,” Marcel said still not too sure that he was forgiven for hindering her from getting Kol back in the first place, “get your sorry ass home.”

 

“Can’t,” Kol said as if it was a simple statement of fact, “too many bodies.”

 

“I’ll take care of them,” Marcel dismissed, “just get home before Davina blows a gasket.”

 

“Can’t,” Kol slurred grabbing the bottle of whisky from the table near him, “got to try again tomorrow.”

 

Marcel looked at him like he grew another head, “and what exactly are you trying again Kol?”

 

“To be good enough,” he flopped onto the closest hair, “you probably don’t think I can be, do you? Not too sure myself actually. Maybe she should have left me there to rot.”

 

Marcel was quiet for a long moment before he crouched down till he was eye level with Kol, “you’re going to have to be. D loves you Kol, don’t ask me why. I have no idea. Personally I think you’re a psycho and a little shit, but you’re family now. Which mean you’re my psycho and lord help me I’m going to straighten your ass out even if I have to rip it into a thousand pieces and staple it back together, do you hear me? So go home and make things right, now.”

 

“I’m touched,” he said sarcastically despite the fact that he was somewhat moved, “but I can’t, not today.”

 

“When then Kol,” Marcel berated him, “when Davina’s old and grey? Or maybe when she’s dead? Is that what you want?”

 

“No, god no,” Kol waved him off, “just- just till when I’m good enough.”

 

“Never going to happen,” Marcel sighed, “she doesn’t care if you’re good enough. She just cares that you’re there.”

 

“Really? Is that all she cares about Marcel,” he scoffed, “wouldn’t mind the pile of dead corpses at all, I’m sure she’ll find that adorable.”

 

“Then stop killing people,” Marcel shouted.

 

“What do you think I’ve been trying to do,” Kol shouted back, “you’re fucking blood bags don’t work for shit, I’m hungry almost all the fucking time, and I miss my girl. Do you think I actually want this?”

 

“Kol,” Davina voice came from the entry of the building.

 

“Dear lord tell me you did not bring her with you,” for a second he was tempted to break the table into piece and shove them one by one through Marcels body, thankful in his wise old age he was able to fathom why he definitely should not do that at the moment.

 

“Go,” Marcel said, “I’ll take care of the bodies, just go home. She doesn’t have to see this but if you know D at all, you’ll know she’s not leaving without you.”

 

He nodded, Marcel was right. Time to face the consequences; slowly he made his way down the stairs. Part of him wished Elijah was here to wipe the blood from his face and make him look respectable again, but he honestly didn’t deserve that much, “hello love.”

 

“You’re covered in blood,” Davina frowned looking at him, “I called you.”

 

“I know,” he said quietly as an answer to both before leaning against the doorway.

 

She wanted to be angry, he could tell by the look in her eyes, “I swear if you’re dying again, I’ll kill you.”

 

“Not anytime soon,” he couldn’t help but chuckle at her threat, “my god I’ve missed you.”

 

“Why,” her brow furrowed, “I haven’t gone anywhere. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I told you once we could do anything together. I meant it. Whatever it is Kol, I’ll be there.”

 

“Not this darling,” he said even as he leaned into her touch placing a kiss atop her head, “I’ll come when I’m better.”

 

“No,” she said harshly grabbing his hand and looking up at him, “that’s not how this works. Call me selfish Kol but I want all of you. I love you.”

 

“Not much to love I’m afraid,” he laughed awkwardly but she only held him tightened and her eyes became fiercer.

 

“Stop that,” he met he eyes and they burned him, “I love you. I love _you_. I’ll keep saying it as many times as you need to hear it Kol, but you’re not going anywhere… not without me.”

 

“You deserve better, Davina Claire.”

 

“But I want _you_ ,” her tone left no room for argument, “after all I went through to get you back, how could you ever think otherwise.”

 

“I’m not him,” he breathed out, “I can’t do magic, hell I can’t even do blood bags right, I’m a bloody mess darling. Marcel was right to try to warn you away from me-”

 

“He doesn’t know you like I do,” she cried out, “honestly Kol do you think I care about any of that. You know me. Hell you knew all the way back at the start. You fought for me, you _died_ \- you died Kol. I know you are. That other stuff, it’s just that: stuff. I know you’re scared. But I’m asking you to believe in me.”

 

He touched he face gently, “I’ve never doubted you for a second Davina Claire.”

 

“Good,” she blinked hating the water that clouded her eyes before letting out a little laugh, “then what ever it is, we’ll get through it together. No more hiding.”

 

He was quiet for a long moment, “Marcel’s upstairs getting rid of half a dozen dead hooker bodies for me.”

 

She burst out laughing, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it not funny I swear. That’s terrible, but seriously?”

 

“I kind of ate them,” he grimaced not too sure what to make of her reaction.

 

She frowned, “why?”

 

He shrugged and squirmed, “I just- I couldn’t not. I try, dear god do I try Davina. And some days I’m good, I’m so good. And I get to come home to you, but other days I just-”

 

He cut himself off by making a hole in the wall. It pissed him off to no end that he’d fail at something so simple.

 

She wrapped her arms around him from the side and whispered, “always come home to me, even when it’s bad- especially when it’s bad. You don’t need to do this alone Kol, we’ll find ways.”

 

“Ways to what,” he grumbled, “Fin was right. All it is, is a lack of self-control. Ain’t no way to fix that.”

 

“People fix things like that all the time,” Davina mumbled, “Cammie can help, and Josh, and you’ve already won over Marcel it seems.”

 

He could tell she found that really funny and he paused looking at her. Despite what he’d thought nothing had changed. She still looked at him like he was made of goodness and light and he just didn’t understand it, “I’m awful. How can you look me like that?”

 

“You’re trying,” she pointed out, “if you were truly awful, none of this would bother you. Besides who else is going to make fun of my taste in music?”

 

He chuckled leaning into her, “anyone with ears Darling.”

 

“Shut it,” she laughed, “you’re going to pay for that when we get home.”

 

“Can’t-”

 

“I swear to god Kol, I will knock you out and sling you over my shoulder if I have to,” she gave him a murderous look.

 

“I’d pay to see that,” he laughed, “I was just going to say I should probably help Marcel with the bodies.”

 

“Leave it,” Davina smiled wickedly, “he owes me a few anyways. Now come on, I think you owe me a few too.”

 

“Oh do I now,” he smirked.

 

“At least one for every day I’ve missed you,” she smiled wrapping her arms around his neck, “and I’m collecting interest.”

 

“Better get on that then,” he chuckled hoisting her up, “you’ll be the death of me, Davina Claire.”

 

She gave him a quick kiss, “stop being such a drama queen and get me home.”

 

He smirked happily, “ye ma’am.”

 

That night Kol didn’t count bags, though he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t the next day. Instead he counted laughs and kisses. He also counted the number of time Davina said she loved him, which was quite a lot. Not that he was complaining. In the end nothing was resolved, but for the moment at least he was at peace with that. As long as he had Davina by his side he was a god among men, and he believed with all his heart that together they’d find a way to get through everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Technically they didn't actually work through all their problems here, but let me know if that's something you guys would like to see. Thanks for reading!


End file.
